A hypocrite’s paradoxes

What was that disturbed me when I was watching the movie Fashion, when I was reading K. Surendran’s novel Aruna?

Yes, it was the word vulgarity; it was the feeling of disgust. My bosom friend stipulates that I still have that moral stick in my hand and I have my cultural roots strong!

Any so called immoral relationship disturbs the radical me, be it in life or in fiction/celluloid. Is it because I am a hypocrite or is it because I am still a moralist?

I can stand such one-night stands, but I literally couldn’t stand the kind of relationship Aruna’s bro-in-law has with her. When I read that news about a virgin auctioning her virginity to rise funds for her higher education, I was in full praise of her. Its all fine with me when woman showing there sexual urge in films/fictions. But I can’t understand and accept certain relationship. When I read about or see such relations, I feel bitter as if its my lover who is sleeping with some other person, I feel bad as if my lover is having a clandestine relationship. I feel being cheated and I get mad.

Why the hell am I having such feelings? Is it just because I am a hypocrite or is there any thing beyond?

Ah! Who knows! Human beings’ minds some times behaves so strange. If you go on decoding madness and trying to find its patterns, life wont move on dude, instead it will get stuck like a clock that does not tick and is stuck at 12 p.m!

Hmmm, Kunju pointed it right I am silly and intelligent at the same time!

Dada, I am sorry for everything.

He is the most charismatic leader who changed the way India played cricket. He is the man who walked side by side with controversies, enduring them silently with that mystic smile on his face.

Sourav Ganguly became captain of the Indian cricket team, in the most turbulent times. He was the country's most successful captain, both in One-days and Tests; he was one of the most graceful batsmen the game has seen, probably matchless on the off-side; he was easily one of the most controversial ones too. But above all, he was the charismatic leader who changed the way India played its cricket.

Though he is the one of the most successful captain team India ever had, one of the biggest clichés about him is that half the world loves him while the other half hates him. And I remember how I used to hate him, how I used to blame him saying that he is the most arrogant captain India ever had.

But I failed to see the fighter in him, I failed to see his endless passion for cricket and his unshakeable desire in the heart to overcome all the hurdles only to come back and play good cricket. Dada, I am sorry for everything.

I can't and i just can't;(

Well, it’s the fourth dry day of this week! I can’t stand it anymore. Imagine sitting in the office for continuous 4 days. (I remember the same me was grumbling about the pile of work. I was screaming that the pressure is too much and I can’t handle it. Hmmm, that’s last week. It’s this week. Can’t mess up them, alle?)

I felt very sad that there is no clock on the wall for me to kill my time counting it. (Counting time looking at ones mobile is a bit too much as u all know)

So I spent my whole time fighting with Boobs, pulling Kunju’s or Nandu’s legs-I did it just that they give their legs for me to pull it. Surfing endless surfs. And the photos of Paratha and some fishes ready to fry invoked the hidden desires in me. (I came across those pics in the Orkut profiles of one of N’s friends. I really hate her for asking me to go through her ‘that’ friend’s profile.) I thought I would give M some amusement as well. So I rang her up, and went in hunt for Kerala Paratha and chicken Curry. We landed in a hotel. The waiter walked to us and recited Chicken Biriyani and the names of some rice items-we (I) frowned to him and asked for Paratha and Chicken Curry. We waited and finally it came in another ten minutes, I who was particularly hungry for Paratha and chicken curry fell on it. Took one piece from the Paratha and dipped it in the Chicken curry and threw it to my mouth. All my happiness fade out, it had disgusting taste (though M finds nothing wrong with the curry). Poor me as I have highly developed taste I had to eat Paratha without curry.

Mmmm, it always happens with me. And I know my problem is my highly developed taste. What to do! I can’t stop living just that the world has not grown up to my standards;(